Scene 1: Brandy

(JEREMY and CHARCY walk into the apartment and see JONAS, nursing a Brandy and Ginger Ale while a variety of guns sit on their coffee table, JONAS has no pants on)

JONAS
Uhhhhhhh. What’s up guys? How was dinner? You like the barbecue? I liked the brisket, you can never go wrong with brisket

(CHARCY stares at JEREMY then JONAS and back at JEREMY)

JEREMY
Charcy. Don’t freak out, I can explain everything. It might be a little weird but I can make sense of this, except why he’s wearing no pants. (SIGH) Dude, come on, you knew we were coming home about this time, not even sweat pants for us?

CHARCY
I’m just wondering why he would do that in his Spongebobs. It seems like an activity that would require pants.

(CHARCY walks in and makes herself a drink while JEREMY follows her in and shuts the door)

JONAS
Do I need a reason to be wearing pants? It is after all my apartment also.

CHARCY
It just seems a little reckless, that’s all. One mistake and BAM, shot in leg.

JONAS
Well, it would still go through my leg with a pair of jeans, that’s how guns work Charc.
CHARCY
Fine, enough talk of your pantlessness. Where did you get those guns?

JONAS
Target, next to the Linens.
CHARCY
Alright fag, don’t tell me.

JEREMY
So you aren’t too freaked out by this?

CHARCY
I might be, I don’t know……. Maybe? I’m alot more drunk than I lead on to be right now.

JONAS
And you continue to drink, still.

CHARCY
Hey, Underpants Queen, I think I earned it. I didn’t expect for you to be cleaning a… what is that
(CHARCY walks over to the coffee table, bends over and looks)
a rifle, a shotty and handguns, when I walked in that door)

JONAS
1st off, don’t ever say shotty, it makes you look fucking retarded, just say shotgun. 2nd off, I like my boxers you whore, they were a gift.

CHARCY
Fine… Jeez… You need to calm down slut.

JONAS
I’m not a slut you cunt.

JEREMY
Can I talk now?

CHARCY
Sure.
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