I wrote this in Playwriting class
Heart For An Heart
By Joshua Kellogg
Characters
JEROME, 40
EDDIE, 30
Time
Near Midnight, it’s Mid Summer.
Place
It’s a dark, pitch black evening in the wood’s behind EDDIE’s house. They meet on the grounds of an abandoned mansion deep in the uninhabited part of the great forest. EDDIE meets JEROME there.
EDDIE
So this is where we are meeting now?
(EDDIE shines his flashlight at JEROME)
JEROME
Correct EDDIE. This is where we will meet from now on.
(EDDIE points his flashlight at the ground)
EDDIE
Are we ready to do this?
JEROME
(shrugs)
I was hoping for some chit chat before we got done to business.
EDDIE
What kind of chitchat do you have in mind?
JEROME
We could talk about the weather, how well the Suns are playing or what movies you’ve seen recently.
EDDIE
Jerome, I’m not going to have that conversation with anyone that murders people for a living. I know you are my supplier but that does not mean I want to be your friend.
JEROME
You are awfully calm about doing business with a psychotic gentleman like myself. It doesn’t bother you that I could very well slice and dice you like some kitchen appliance?
EDDIE
I know but who else are you going to find to buy your goods? That also pays as well as I do.
JEROME
Alright. I’ll show you my goods. I think you’ll be surprised by what I whip out for you tonight.
(JEROME opens his coat to reveal a bunch of human organs lining the inside of his coat)
EDDIE
Hmmm. I think I need a heart and a colon and a lung.
JEROME
That’s it. I got lots of others hanging out in here. The heart comes from this fitness chick that works at my gym. She taught the pilates class, she was real flexible, if you get what I’m saying.
EDDIE
Yes, I get what you are saying, jeez.
JEROME
That all, you’re not interested in this spleen I got hanging in here?
EDDIE
I see the spleen, why don’t just put them in a cooler or something that is more practical for transportation. Just having those organs swinging inside your coat and rubbing against your body is perhaps, the weirdest thing you do.
JEROME
Well, that would lose its dramatic effect, wouldn’t it? I did go through all the trouble of murdering these people and cutting up their insides and the least I could do is do something cool afterwards. I mean, you just eat them after this point.
EDDIE
I don’t eat them, THANK YOU. I just blend them up and drink them, like that episode of C.S.I , you try eating this shit solid. I even tried Steak Sauce and it just tasted like bad Chinese food. The human organs are rife with health minerals to help keep me in shape.
JEROME
So you did scientific research to prove this point, that what you saw on a T.V. show was correct?
EDDIE
Nope, I trust C.S.I. It’s a really smart show, you should watch it.
JEROME
I do. Look at my works, this shit doesn’t come easy. But still, you are eating human organs because a TV show said that it would help you remain at the top of, what ever game you had. That is bat shit crazy.
EDDIE
Well, this coming from the guy that chops up people to sell their organs to me in the forest late at night, with the fucking organs hanging from the inside of his coat.
JEROME
I guess we again to disagree. Anyways, my coat is getting a little stinky.
(JEROME smells the inside of his coat)
Alright, maybe really stinky, same time next week?
EDDIE
Yeah and bring them in a cooler next time, it’ll save us some time. Poker night on Friday?
JEROME
Sure, I’ll be there. I’ll wash this coat before then.
